


Stravange

by StrawhatsAndDelibirds



Category: One Piece
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:54:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21846253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrawhatsAndDelibirds/pseuds/StrawhatsAndDelibirds
Summary: When in roam.
Kudos: 25





	Stravange

Sometimes you stay at a port too long and you run out of things to do. Sanji wasn’t really into exploring, and Nami and Robin had already left without telling him. So that meant he had to find some way to entertain himself.

There was a game he had thought up a few islands ago, but never really had a chance to play it. It was a game that he couldn’t tell anyone about without risking blowing his cover, seeing as most his crew were absolute shit when it came to stealth. But no one else was around, so now was the time. 

The first part of the game, was to find the moss head. He had already wandered off, but that meant that it would be easier to follow him since he wasn’t onto him yet. This was also probably the hardest part of it, because Sanji had nothing to go off of. Even if Zoro had a goal in mind, the odds were so low that he’d actually wander over there that Sanji wasn’t even going to bother to try. He was going to have to start walking without a goal.

When in Rome, he supposed. 

He had to think of other things. He couldn’t turn his brain off and wander around like the dumb fucking caveman Zoro was. Sanji was a man of culture, a man of great wit, and more often than not, the one who wasn’t a total dumbass. To turn off his brain would be an impossible task. 

Maybe he could start scanning the crowd for green. That minty asshole had an easy enough hairstyle to spot. In his defence, how else to you trim overgrown weeds other than with a weedwacker. 

Damn he was going to have to remember that one. That one was pretty clever if he did say so himself. There was no way that Zoro would have a comeback for that one.

Speak of the devil and he will appear. Apparently he thought about him long enough to spot that wandering asshole out of the corner of his eye. No clear destination in mind, no thoughts to be put towards doing something. It was amazing this asshole got anything done, or that he was a halfway decent partner when it came to sparring.

Sanji had to make himself scarce. Zoro could see him, but he wasn’t allowed to catch on that he was following him. Sanji didn’t wanna mess with this hopeless process. He wanted to see where this asshole would end up if no one went out to save him. Sanji only ever saw the end result, so this time was going to be about the journey. 

He ducked into one of the stalls, poking around at the goods for sale. The kitchen was already stocked, but there was no harm in looking at the utensils. There were always so many knives that he could choose from, and so many more that he could easily see himself using. His equipment was already stellar, but there was really nothing against new knives. 

But he was getting off topic. Already Zoro was wandering off, and if he lost him he’d have to start this whole process all over again. Finding him once was nothing but chance, finding him twice was almost asking for a miracle.

Zoro’s pattern didn’t seem to have much rhyme or reason. He bobbed in and out of main streets and side streets. He didn’t seem to really be looking for anything, he was wandering for the sake of wandering. Was this what his life was like before joining the crew? There was no way that Zoro didn’t have some sort of babysitter to make sure he got somewhere safe and at all.

But even if Zoro was an idiot, there still had to be some sort of pattern to this. There had to be something. Zoro being a dipshit was definitely a part of this, but there had to be something more. Some unseen factors that came into play to make him so absolutely shitty at navigating. There had to be some sort of method to this madness, because he wasn’t Luffy. 

Suddenly Sanji got the feeling he was caught, because not only had he seen these buildings before, but he had been seeing nothing but these buildings for the past half hour. They were now circling around this building, like it had something valuable they were going to steal and they were looking for a way in. 

To test this, Sanji turned and headed the other way, so that he could pass by that asshole, and if he said anything then he’d know for sure. 

As he was about to pass him on a side street, Zoro made and attempt to clothesline him. If Sanji weren’t so quick on his feet, he would’ve. Fucking bastard couldn’t even use his big boy words. Sanji ducked under and followed beside him. 

“So you gonna tell me why you’re following me?” Zoro asked. Sanji should’ve known better. Zoro always had his guard up and was ready at any moment if someone tried to attack or do something sketchy. Maybe he was too focused on the potential of someone following him, that he never paid attention to his surroundings. That sounded like something Zoro would do. Because he was a dipshit like that. 

“Well someone had to make sure you didn’t get lost. Beats wasting my time later when I’m the one stuck trying to find you because you went off on a little adventure without a keeper.” 

“I don’t see how it’s my fault you guys keep moving the boat.” Zoro shrugged. 

“We almost never move our ship. Not unless some shit’s happening.” 

“Well it’s always at a different dock when I see it.” What the fuck was he talking about. How could he be so blatantly wrong so confidently? There were solid facts available to anyone with at least one functioning brain cell and eye. 

“Why would a small island have multiple ports. It’s not even that busy a town.” He had to have some sort of reasoning behind it. 

“Well I’ve seen more than one, so I don’t know what to tell you. I didn’t design the island.” 

“How do you know they were different ports.” Because there was one hundred percent only one port. Sanji had been all over this town. 

“Cause the buildings around are different?” Zoro said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. 

“No they’re fucking not? They’ve all been there since we got here. Nothing’s changed, dipshit.”

“Oh yeah? Well prove it. Bring us back to the ship if it’s that easy.” Zoro snorted, completely unsold on the reality of the matter. 

Because he didn’t want to spend the next eight hours looking for this dipshit, Sanji would grab Zoro’s wrist and dragged him back to the main street, and down to the only fucking port on this island. Zoro stared at the ship in disbelief. 

“You got off the ship after I did.” Zoro grunted, a solid wound to his ego landed. 

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” 


End file.
